Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. - TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55
Since it is true that God comes to me through people, I can see that by keeping people at a distance I also keep God at a distance. God is nearer to me than I think and I can experience God by loving people and allowing people to love me. But I can neither love nor be loved if I allow my secrets to get in the way.
It's the side of myself that I refuse to look at that rules me. I must be willing to look at the dark side in order to heal my mind and heart because that is the road to freedom. I must walk into the darkness to find the light and walk into fear to find peace.
By revealing my secrets - and thereby ridding myself of guilt - I can actually change my thinking; by altering my thinking, I can change myself. My thoughts create my future. What I will be tomorrow is determined by what I think today.
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Reading this reflection brought light to me in the same way the first sunny day after the dismal winter lightens my spirit. Before I found the Saturday morning women's group, I spent too much time alone and isolated. Even though I had long believed that God speaks to me from people, I was cut off from a vital source for me - sharing with women alcoholics on a regular basis. I was only walking into the darkness and not finding the light! I love the theme for this month - "Out of the darkness and in to the light"! I love that A.A. makes no reference to my "sins"; this passage only refers to "my secrets", and these are what keep me sick. I'm so grateful I have this group of women to share with!!
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