A.A. experience has taught us we cannot live alone with our pressing problems and the character defects which cause or aggravate them. If . . . Step Four . . . has revealed in stark relief those experiences we'd rather not remember . . . then the need to quit living by ourselves with those tormenting ghosts of yesterday gets more urgent than ever. We have to talk to somebody about them.
- TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55
Whatever is done is over. It cannot be changed. But my attitude about it can be changed through talking with those who have gone before and with sponsors. I can wish the past never was, but if I change my actions in regard to what I have done, my attitude will change. I won't have to wish the past away. I can change my feelings and attitudes, but only through my actions and the help of my fellow alcoholics.
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The reflections for today and yesterday remind me that when I feel unease about "belonging", with any person, place, or thing, it is time for me to share a 5th step with a trusted sponsor. I am reminded that when I feel uncomfortable about sharing my past or present actions, then I am uncomfortable with myself, and that keeps me from being happy, joyous, and free. To me, being sober means not taking a drink one day at a time, and being happy, joyous, and free.
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