Daily Reflections-October 20

SOLACE FOR CONFUSION

Obviously, the dilemma of the wanderer from faith is that of profound confusion. She thinks herself lost to the comfort of any conviction at all. She cannot attain in even a small degree the assurance of the believer, the agnostic, or the atheist. She is the bewildered one.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

The concept of God was one that I struggled with during my early years of sobriety. The images that came to me, conjured from my past, were heavy with fear, rejection and condemnation. Then I heard my friend's image of a Higher Power: As a girl she had been allowed a litter of puppies, provided that she assume responsibility for their care. Each morning she would find the unavoidable "by-products" of the puppies on the kitchen floor. Despite frustration, she said she couldn't get angry because "that's the nature of puppies." She felt that God viewed our defects and shortcomings with a similar understanding and warmth. I've often found solace from my personal confusion in her calming concept of God.